Sickness and sadness

I am sick and I am sad.  The sick is just some terrible virus running through Purdue acting like mono.  But since PUSH didn’t test me for mono, because it is “too widespread,” that could be the culprit.  But I didn’t want to write about sickness, instead I am preoccupied by sadness.  What do I do with this sadness?  Numb it down with my favorite TV shows?  Cultivate it until I am forced to create something from the build up of immense sadness?  I have often commented on how my mental stability and happiness gets in the way of my art.  Sure I can paint little portraits of pets on some ornaments in order to make ends meat.  But to really create, you kind of vomit your emotions and the inspiration onto your medium.  It burns through you until you must get it out of you.  But this process is not very good for the emotional self, and in my pursuit of stability I have nearly abandoned the real art.  How the hell do I create with passion without sacrificing my mental integrity and overall well being? I haven’t the slightest idea.


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